Staying positive is, in my opinion, the most important aspect of weight loss. More important than exercise. More important than what you eat or when you eat it. I’m serious! I am convinced that was the difference between all my other attempts at weight loss and when I succeeded.

Let me explain.

I Can’t, I Really Shouldn’t, I Shouldn’t, I May, I Might, I Will!

Every year losing weight is the #1 resolution. According to a NY Times article in 2009, every year 80% of resolutions fail. Those 80% of people set themselves up for failure as soon as they make their resolution. Why? I would argue the reason is negativity.

Most people I talk to or hear talk about their goal to lose weight, they spend the majority of their time talking about what they can’t eat or how they’re sick of eating salads. What does it mean when you continuously are talking about those things? It means you’re thinking about them even more. What happens when your thoughts are consumed with things that you can’t have? You begin to crave those things. What happens when you crave those things? You can’t take the pressure and you crack.

This is what happens to a lot of people that try to lose weight. This is what happened to me on all those failed attempts. I love Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. I knew that I shouldn’t eat them if I was going to lose weight. I changed the shouldn’t to couldn’t. Since I told myself I couldn’t have those chocalatey, peanut buttery, rippled gobs of goodness every time I went into the grocery store or gas station or anywhere else that had candy I lusted after them. I craved them. Then I would finally give in one time. Of course, the problem is you can’t eat just one, they’re are two in a pack. But wait, they have “king size” packs with four! Before I knew it I was pounding peanut butter cups. Then peanut butter cups would lead to some other food on the “do not eat list” and game over, the “diet” was done. Then I would get discouraged and just give up.

This is a human response not specific to “diets.” My father-in-law was telling us how he had to go in for an MRI recently and the technician told him he couldn’t blink. Rather than only telling him once, she repeatedly told him, “now don’t forget not to blink.” “Please don’t blink.” Remember, you’re not supposed to blink.“ It would have been fine had the technician told him once, but by repeating it over and over again she put something in his subconsciousness that made refraining from blinking impossible. Because he was thinking about not blinking so much the urge to blink was overwhelming. He couldn’t help but blink.

How We Can Fix It.

The solution is simple: Change your mind! Ok, it’s simple in theory; much more difficult in practice. However, re-programming how you approach things makes all the difference. In 2002 when I lost my weight I began to think more positively. Rather than say, ”I’m trying to lose weight“, I would say, ”I’m going to lose weight,“ or ”I’m starting to lose weight.“ I made success, not failure the focus. I didn’t focus on things I couldn’t eat but on things I decided I was going to eat. I will talk about this in more detail in a future post, but I never used the word ”diet“ since it has such a negative connotation. I used the word ”eating plan.“ When faced with the temptation of a peanut butter cup or other food item s nutritionally challenged, I weight that decision against my goals. At time I did indulge (again, more on this in a later post) but the indulgences were planned. This put me, and not the food, in control.

The Challenge

My challenge for you is to change your way of thinking about weight loss by doing the following:

• Focus on the things that you can and should do rather than the things you shouldn’t or can’t do.
• Always keep the end goal in mind.
• Tell yourself over and over again that you can do it.

When you make this change, you will be able to accomplish your goals.

Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”